You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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