you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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