Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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