so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
