We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
