I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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