Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
