The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
worst night to have a conscience
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Dicks are not precious.
Randomize