put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Is it because I queefed?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
