I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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