? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
We had sex on a dog bed..
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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