Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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