She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
