you guys were way drunker than both of me
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
