fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
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