Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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