Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
