I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
