Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
