Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I don't deserve a penis
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
