i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
So many bounce houses so little time
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
