The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
