i think my tv is drunk
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
