people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
