I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
