idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
