A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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