Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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