i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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