it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
