I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
