Me. At least after what I've been through.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
