Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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