Define "chronic" masturbator.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
sex in a hospital.. check
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
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