If i come over, it means nothing
I puked a lego.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
