Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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