8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
it glows. i had to have it.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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