Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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