I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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