Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Congratulations! We have a period
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