Well douche your snatch and let's go!
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
