They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
