That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
