went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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