apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
