u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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