who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
