I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
