Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
You know, be my cock's hype man.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
