he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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