what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
