yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
