Sry I called you an 8
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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