I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
