I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
