You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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