i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
